Top 5 Donald Glover Performances In Derrick Comedy

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Donald Glover is a Renaissance Man.

The actor/writer/music artist has had a stellar personal season with the success of Atlanta and his latest album Awaken, My Love.

But I remember noticing Glover’s talent before he became Earn, Troy, or Childish. Back in the saloon days of YouTube, Derrick Comedy—a New York based trio featuring Glover, Domminick Dierkes, D.C. Pierson—were making my friends and I laugh heartily in our dorm rooms. And with each sketch, Glover was also making his presence known.

So I went on YouTube this week, and started listing my favorite Donald Glover performances in Derrick Comedy.

Take a look.

  1. Don’t Jerk Off To This

It’s subtle, well the jokes are. The set up is anything but that, as it takes a herculean effort for three friends not masturbate to a bowl of fruit. It’s the don’t press that red button scenario except with fruit and genitals.

Right.

Normally I would have given an honorable mention to this sketch in place of Girls Are Not To Be Trusted, but it’s Glover’s dialogue to his friend Thomas as he catches him going for the bowl of fruit.

As his friend sneaks his way to the coveted bowl, there is Glover’s character, drink in hand, waiting in the dark for his pawn like some expectant predator in a psychological thriller, delivering a dialogue that would seem diabolical if not capped off with “…bring it to me so that I can jerk off to it.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdfMu77sYH4

  1. Boy Band

The first thought when always viewing Boy Band is usually “This is so wrong….but that catchy chorus tho.”

The concept of the sketch, which flips the script on adult perverts lusting after underage pop sensations is both cringey and hilarious if only for the fact how close to the truth it actually nails—looking at you people who countdown to when a pop star becomes “legal,”–and that would be fine enough if you didn’t have Glover singing such a catchy chorus over the band’s music video. Some might point to Culdesac or even I Am Just Rapper mixtapes as the first time they considered Glover’s great musical ability, and that’s fair. But in between the disapproving “this is so wrong” head shaking and guilt-ridden guffaws the first time I watched this sketch, I kept thinking, “Man this dude should really consider doing music.”

  1. B-Boy StanceReggie: “I’m a martyr, I’m a martyr for hip-hop”

Journalist: “Martyrs are usually dead.

Reggie: “Well I’m little dead inside.”

My favorite episode from Atlanta was definitely “B.A.N.” which featured the Dateline’s esque spoof of the transracial character. It reminded me of B-Boy Stance, at least in spirit, and I think if you view it you can find a few connecting threads: the Cable TV Tabloid Documentary Style, the character that’s either delusional or just truly believes in what they’re doing all shot back to you in a humorous shell. But while the B.A.N. segment on transracial could still layer itself like a shawl onto the continuing and complex dialogue of race in the U.S., B-Boy stance isn’t that heady.

Instead, it turns the wackiness up to 11, as Glover delivers the funniest lines with strong comedic timing such as:

“Why don’t you go marry Jay-Z and have a normal life where you hug each other your arms that are free from your back…and scratch your legs where they itch last night.”

  1. Jazz Man

What’s the greatest sketch of all time?

Monty Python’s Dead Parrot?

SNL’s Celebrity Jeopardy?

All are worthy contenders for the title. But let me add in one more to the match: Derrick Comedy’s Jazz Man.

For me, this is my “Who’s On First.”

It’s also my personal Scarface as far as quotable works.

“Won’t let me drink at your bar huh, well here’s some Jim Crow for that ass.”

“Immma go have sex with like five white women tonight. You guys have fun.”

“Ooooh I just orgasmed onstage from your white hatred.”

The premise is bonkers as it’s essentially a large fart joke wrapped up in a historical discussion on racism and cultural appropriation for commercial profit. In any one else’s hands this would fail before even making it beyond a table reading. And no other actor besides Glover could pull off the delivery that this sketch needs to remotely work.

The utter disgust and disdain Glover gives to a hypocritical audience that would pay money to see him play his trumpet but at the same time would also deny his character basic civil rights and human decency is as funny as it is brutally honest.

This sketch seems like artistic revenge for the never-changing relationship between black music, black people and the people that love the music but not the people.

5.) Jerry

Jazz Man may be my favorite Derrick Comedy and general sketch of all time. But Jerry holds a special place in my comedic bone due to being the first Derrick Comedy video I ever watched. In 2006, during the wild west days of a budding YouTube, the Junior Year in College version of me watched as Glover gave one of the most landmark and enthralling comedic performances I’d ever seen.

Ok Ok.

That last sentence was too Inside The Actor’s Studio, but in 30 seconds my belly was shaking too hard from deep laughter as Glover’s Jerry character went into denial, hysterical yelling and sobbing, and then even further in denial, and more hysterical yelling and sobbing all because the poor kid had an accident in his pants.

Jerry would serve as my introductory video towards friends and family members into Derrick Comedy and Donald Glover until, well he didn’t need an introduction anymore.

The world knows who he is.

Still, looking at Jerry, it wasn’t hard to tell that Glover was going to be star.

From pooping his pants to Lando, Mr. Glover has come pretty dang far.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIF0UCFd3FM

Okay you’ve heard enough from me, so let me hear from you. Let me know what your favorite Donald Glover centric Derrick Comedy sketches are.

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Pokemon GO To Work

I sometimes wonder about the people who were not Macarena enthusiasts when the dance craze first premiered.

Historical accounts—by which I mean VH1 Remember Specials—often depict the Macarena as this unstoppable and unavoidable phenom that had everybody doing the simple arm motions, safe hip-shaking and vocal conclusions of “Heeyyyy Macarena, Alright!”

But this isn’t the whole picture.

Not everyone was joining in the trend. We never really hear much about opposing or indifferent souls because the ones who recorded this slice of pop culture history were the ones who performed the dance in the high school gyms, churches, and wedding receptions across America.

Who cares if Janet was a wallflower during this moment in her Prom? What perspective could she really offer? She might have watched others, but did she really live it?

Last Thursday at work, I cared about Janet because I realized I was becoming her. As everyone of my coworkers rushed into my workspace, excitedly clamoring at the thought of a Pikachu in their midst, I looked at my busted Windows Phone with such disgusted disdain. People of different ages, race, gender, religions, and political followings were yelling and hollering in chaotic unison like a bunch of third graders entering the playground for recess. Folks who had probably said no more than five words to each other in the years they’d work together were comparing their levels and battles in novel detail. Here was pop culture history being written right in front of my eyes, and I couldn’t become a co-author because of my decision to buy the cheapest phone on my plan years ago. History is for those that can afford it.

If I were able to contribute a piece on this, I’d say that work has taught me more about Pokemon GO’s mainstream cultural invasion than the host of news stories, Twitter Posts, and Hillary Clinton. I’ve learned essentially, that Pokemon GO is like carrots. It can be good for you in numerous ways, but too much of it can turn your skin orange.

On the positive side, I can’t deny its place as a type of person unifier. My manager was joking and laughing with one of my colleagues over their collection and treks to catalog these virtual pocket monsters.

But not even two days before that, my colleague was venting to the rest of the team over my manager, and calling him things like “Whiny punk ass jerk,” “Baby-Carrot Penis” and other lovely insulting combos probably not fit to type.

Who knows if this employment peace treaty will last more than a week? Still, it was nice to see them get along for a spell.

On the other side of the coin, Pokemon GO can be way too distracting, especially for a place of work. I mean while I was trying to focus and get my job done, dozens of people were crowding around, neglecting their own duties just for a chance at capturing a Pidgey. Look, I’m all for having fun, but when Payroll is stopped to catch Pokemon instead of fix my paycheck, I got concerned. I can’t pay off my crushing debt on them leveling up.

Still, maybe I’d be more relaxed about all this if I had an android instead of a Windows phone.