Pounds: Prelude To Madness


“I’m thinking about doing two-a -day workouts. Do you have any advice?”

Time slowed down for my co-worker, Zach, as the statement and question reverberated between his ears and brain. He stopped moving, which is an amazing feat for the 20-something whose natural stance is usually set to a kid who just chugged two cups of Kool-Aid.

His quick-witted responses usually matched my own to the point that our superiors and our co-workers were left scratching their heads, deciphering the dialogue we were already celebrating with laughter.

But here he was, silent for ten crawling seconds, his face contorting to a puzzle he couldn’t figure out.

The record had scratched.

And then, as the pause button on life lifted, laughter surrounded the room.

Holding his insides, Zach responded “ Hey DC, did you hear what Calvin said? He’s thinking about doing two-a-day workouts. Any advice?”

You could feel the mocking air quotes in his question to our mutual co-worker.

“Yeah,” DC said, with a pointed eye-brow, “DON”T DO IT!”

Advice noted.

Unfortunately my bloodline was cursed with the skill of ridiculous stubbornness.
For instance, family members that have died—God Rest their Restless Souls—didn’t just simply die. They suffered through something that should have killed them in one hit, only to bounce back for a brief encore and then die.

My sister believed that it was their way of fighting to spend one last time with their loved ones. I think it’s the family stubbornness kicking in annoying the face of death.

And though I may have to make that final trek one day with the Reaper, my stubborn kick was going to occur this time during my crazy idea.

Two workouts in one day.

It’s not that I’m trying to upstage anyone, or fuel my ego with this attempt.

It’s just that year in and year out, my workout regime feels like its in a rut.

And when someone’s in a rut, they have this drive or craving to spark some type of difference no matter how jarring or extreme. So while some people dye their hair, go sky diving, or take a BDSM class to combat their ruts, I’m just attempting to murder myself at the gym.

Really, my adrenaline shot is conservative compared to others when you think about it.

And the only hangover I’ll suffer through is sore muscles, right?


Or a dangerous injury.

Damn my family’s stubbornness.


The Plan:

Workout A:

20-25 Minutes On Elliptical

Ab-Machine—100 Reps Or 10 Min

Ab-Machine (Sitting)–60-Reps Or 5 Min

Side-Ab Machine–60-90 Reps

Treadmill-Jogging/Walking With Increasing Elevation For 15 Minutes

Workout B-1 (Upper Body):

Bench Press- To The Point Of Exhaustion With Increasing Weight

Cross Fly- 30 Reps

Triceps Machine-30-50 Reps Increasing Weight

Pull-Down Machine Alternating Chest And Back—30 Reps Each With Increasing Weight

Dumbbell Curl—30 Reps With Increasing Weight

Push-Ups—30 For First Month (Add 10 Each Month)

Barbell Lift—30 Reps

Workout B-2 (Lower Body)

Jumping Squats—30 Reps

Barbell Front Squats—30 Reps Increasing Weight

Barbell Back Squats—30 Reps

Calf Raises—30 Reps

Squat Machine (Seated)–30 Reps

Leg Extensions Increasing Weight 30 Reps

Leg Curls Increasing Weight 30 Reps


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